Before going to the studio yesterday morning, I found myself in need of further preparation. I am now into a deeper phase of my commissioned painting which treats a delicate and demanding spiritual subject. Much has happened to clear the way for the undertaking – a lot of it scarey. I find myself sick to death of fear.
The sun had already risen, and generally contemplative work is done before sunrise, but I was moved to still myself then and there, basking in the light pouring through the window. I was in a state of gratitude, gratefully. I am grateful for gratitude! What started out being contemplative moved into another realm of stillness, a meditation.
It was quiet enough to hear the birds in their morning conversations. My best friend long ago helped instill the gentle habit of placing my attention on the sound of the birds. This always seems to pave the way for at least alighting onto the path into the garden at the center of the chest. Going deep, I felt the warmth of the sun – but it was coming from within. The body felt light throughout – yes, the incredible lightness of being. Suddenly a rooster crowed a magnificent song and I realized that the sound was just an extension of the sun, it was as if the sun was boomeranging its own beauty back at itself in sound delight, and somehow this was all in my chest.
That rooster and the inside/outside sun – part of the same glory. As my awareness shifted and I slid into contemplation, the rooster crowed again, and this time, with the change in my consciousness, perhaps in a secondary or tertiary clear light rooster bounce, the song felt short of the first mark, there was a little separation between bird song and sun yet the glory was there, poignantly so.
This is how it is. We all have some song we sing back at the sun that never sets, a response to the call from home. We need to keep singing our deepest song as clearly as possible. It is vitally important to all that we sing out clear and strong. I honor whatever brings one to this place of active self knowledge, of pure being, no matter what form. Sometimes we are one with the glory. Sometimes we are hidden from the glory. But something witnesses the beauty of our longing and unity as one. That “something” is what I feel moved to be stilled by.
Rumi advises we keep wanting that vital connection above all. Look to the heart for the connecting place. We may feel the truth of these words deeply but cultivating the quality of jugular vein fervor that will keep us riding the ocean waves can be elusive. Too often we stay comfortably stuck on the shores of our personalities – sometimes we don’t know the difference between shore and ocean. Sometimes we have to suspend our self-belief in order to get to where we can be pulled by our deeper love. But Hafiz would say that first the fish has to say “there’s something not right about this camel ride. And I’m feeling so damn thirsty…” I would like to explore the topic of cultivating habits that will help refine our world passion into a deeper love of the Work on the next Journey to the Heart show this Thursday, March 21 at 6 pm PST on JustinTV/GorebaggTV.